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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24769567">Liege Lord</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelkoushi/pseuds/angelkoushi'>angelkoushi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>HQ Fairytale AUs [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst and Romance, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, POV First Person, Pining, Unrequited Love, knight!Iwaizumi, prince!Oikawa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:41:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24769567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelkoushi/pseuds/angelkoushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It took a clandestine meeting in their childhood years to put Iwaizumi Hajime firmly on Oikawa Tooru's path. A knight serves as the prince's right hand, his sword and lance. Nothing more, nothing less. Iwaizumi has always been clear on his role ever since he stepped into it. It was one he wanted for himself.</p><p>But that doesn't mean his heart makes it easy to do his job day by day, especially when it begins to yearn for something he shouldn't.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>HQ Fairytale AUs [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796599</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>64</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>EDIT:</p><p>I added an epilogue to this, in the second chapter, which is why I also added a few tags: major character death and graphic depictions of violence. If you don't want to see that, you can totally stop reading at the first chapter; the story is complete as it is by then.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Dawn.</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>I first met the Crown Prince when we were seven summers old.</p><p>I'd grown up in the streets of the village just outside the palace walls. Da had gone over to the other side before my sister was born, while Ma worked herself to death day after day to provide for the three of us. Ahina and I were often left at home for the whole day, and it was up to me to watch over her and make sure she gets something to eat while Ma was out.</p><p>Naturally, I stole. Food, money, clothing - basic things we needed when we couldn't afford them. There was not much a kid of seven can do to work for his meals after all, so it really couldn’t be helped. It wasn't something I was proud of, but a boy of seven could hardly think about whether or not it was a thing of pride. For me back then, it was something I needed to do.</p><p>It had been a day like any other: the summer sun shone relentless and harsh, and the breeze that blew through the alleys was stifling. Back then, I didn’t know that my life was about to take a turn.</p><p>           </p><p>I remember being in the middle of a brisk run from a nearby fruit stand that day, when I barreled straight into a small figure in a dark cloak. The force of it knocked us both off a few yards. Everything was a blur of legs and arms and dark cloth. Pain exploded in my head even as the apples and oranges spilled from my shirt because of my tumble. My vision spun, but I was already clawing my way up on impulse before my eyes could settle.</p><p>When I managed to get on my knees, I saw the boy I hit curled on his side an arm’s reach away from me, crying his eyes out. His nose was bleeding and the noise he made was already drawing curious eyes from all around us.</p><p>I looked up and saw the fruit stand merchant glancing up and down the alley, presumably in search for me. I gathered what I could of the stolen fruit I could reach, grabbed the boy by his hand, and pulled us both in the shadow of a nearby shack. When the boy tried to wriggle away, I slapped a hand over his mouth and pressed my body against his to keep him still and quiet.</p><p>I counted down to steady my thundering heart. <em>Ten, nine…</em> Breathe, slowly. <em>Six, five…</em> That was the man, running past the shack. <em>Two, one…</em> I sighed, then slowly removed my hand from the other boy’s face.</p><p>To his credit, he didn’t bolt. He shivered despite the sweltering heat of the midmorning sun, and I was close enough to hear his sniffles amidst the noise of the market. He was looking down at his hands—fair hands, I noticed—where blood mixed with snot was dripping from his nose.</p><p>Tearing a strip from my tunic, I tried to wipe his face for him. In flash of motion he shirked away from me and looked as if I wanted to gut him. Or steal from him, more like. I scowled. Noble kids all had the same snooty look whenever they were out and about in the village. They look down at the commoners with their noses turned up to the air, but cower in fear the moment we make a show of coming close.</p><p>The boy's big brown eyes were wide with that fear, while his hands were curled into tight fists, ready to go down fighting. His cloak had flapped opened at the front and I saw what looked like silk robes beneath the nondescript brown cotton.</p><p>His high-pitched voice trembled when he spoke. “Wh-who are you?”</p><p>“Nobody. But your nose is bleeding.”</p><p>I tried to wipe his face again, but he jerked away so quickly that he bashed the back of his head against the brick wall behind him. With a sharp yelp he threw his hands up on impulse, but then seemed to think the better of it and swung his fists between us again. <em>This idiot. </em></p><p>“I’m not going to hurt you, damn it. You’re hurt enough as it is.” Still, he wouldn’t let his guard down. I rolled my eyes and instead thrust the cloth at his hands. “Whatever. Wipe your nose or not. I don’t care.”</p><p>I crouched on the ground to collect the fruit I stole. They were less than the number I managed to grab, but it was enough. The bunch fit right into my shirt, and while it made my chest look lumpy, no one would take a second look if I ducked and moved smart.</p><p>As I was about to leave, the boy gripped my shirt so hard that it almost tore.</p><p>“Oi! Stop that. They’re gonna fall out!”</p><p>“Wait, don’t leave me alone.”</p><p>I frowned. “I need to go home though.”</p><p>His eyes were wild and desperate, his grip firm on my shirt. Then his gaze raked up to my head. “Your head’s bleeding too.”</p><p>That was when I felt a tickle between my brows. My hands flew up and came away red. “Huh. I feel alright. I just have to get home. Do you know how to get home to your place?”</p><p>He looked around us for the first time and fear crept back into his eyes. “No. I don’t know this place. Where am I?”</p><p>“You don’t see anyone you were with?”</p><p>He shook his head again. Tears started welling in his eyes again and his bottom lip quivered. The hand on my shirt shook. He reminded me in that moment of Ahina: compared to me, they were both a tad smaller, softer, weaker. That was the reason I made up to explain why I took his hand. It looked strange: small and fair folded in a deep, dirty tan.</p><p>“Come on, let’s find your companions.”</p><p>Instead of letting himself be led, he dug his heels in. His voice shook again as he tried to explain. “I… I’m not supposed to be here. Father said I could only come out if I had my guards, but nobody should know I’m here.”</p><p>That explained the cloak despite the heat. I gave him a once-over from head to toe, getting a good first look. He had a messy bed of light brown hair that matched his eyes, and the clothes beneath his cloak did look like silk, or else something shiny and expensive. He had expensive-looking shoes as well.</p><p>
  <em>This must be one of the richer nobles’ son or something. No wonder he looked lost.</em>
</p><p>I stepped toward him quicker than he could take a half-step back. He raised his fists to his face with his eyes shut tight, quaking all the while as he must have expected I was going to hit him. I ignored it and reached behind his head where the hood of his cloak was. I drew it over his hair, until it covered his face in a shadow.</p><p>“That better?”</p><p>He opened his eyes in surprise, then nodded as he fixed his eyes on me. I huffed then took his hand again, then led him through the crowds.</p><p>“Tell me when you see someone you know. I need to get home soon.”</p><p>I didn’t look back to see if he nodded again, but I felt his grip on my hand tighten.</p><p> </p><p>All around us, bodies twice our size jostled and weaved in and out of the throng, filling the air with all sorts of smells: sweat, meat, rot, sunlight, dust. Whenever I felt him slipping away, I gripped his hand tighter. Our skins grew clammy, but he held on.</p><p>It took us a quite a while to break through the crowd and out into the spacious village square. Right when I turned my head to check on him, someone decked me by the jaw and the world turned upside-down. I lost my hold on the boy as my vision turned white. There was a high keening noise in my ears. Rough hands took my flailing arms without a thought for gentleness and hoisted me up. I had to wait a while before everything stopped spinning.</p><p>Someone grabbed my face, turning it heavenward before I could check on the other boy. A low, threatening voice spoke in my ear. “Who do you work for?”</p><p>“I don’t… I don’t work for anyone.”</p><p>I was yanked harshly, and my skin burned where they held me. “How much did they pay you for taking the prince?”</p><p>My head felt heavy. “What prince?”</p><p>“Wait!”</p><p>There he was, gripping the sleeve of the man who held me. His eyes flashed in the sunlight, and I remember how remarkably steely they were. “Let him go, he was helping me!”</p><p>I remember confusion in older man’s tone. “Your highness—”</p><p>“I order you to let him go!”</p><p>The demand that came in a high voice and such a small body was almost laughable. But surprisingly, it did the trick, and the man holding me up released me. Or threw me down, more like, and I landed on my hands and knees in the dust. All the fruit in my shirt was gone.</p><p>
  <em>They would have been good till tomorrow…</em>
</p><p>“Those were for Ahina…”</p><p>“Are you okay?”</p><p>The boy’s face appeared before me, his cheeks ruddy from crying and the heat. He lightly touched my forehead and winced when I did. From fearful to enraged, and now to softened with concern, I remember wondering how a single pair of eyes could change so much in so little time.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need—”</p><p>“Ah. The fruit, right? Here.” He reached into his cloak and his hands came out glittering. He poured gold and silver coins in my hand as if they were water. “It’s all I have for now, but I’m sure they’ll be able to get you something. I need to go, but thank you for helping me.”</p><p>Before he could stand, I grabbed his hand. I felt the man behind me tense. “Wait. Who are you?”</p><p>“I—”</p><p>“Your highness, we need to return to the palace at once. We beg your pardon.”</p><p>The boy pursed his lips in annoyance, but allowed the bigger men to guide him up from the ground. As he walked away, I saw him flanked by big men in ivory robes lined with teal. Before they could disappear, he turned to look at me again, grinning as he waved goodbye.</p><p>I couldn’t do anything but wave right back. I didn’t realize until much later that the men had called the boy ‘your highness’, and the uniform they wore were the infamous teal of the royal guard.</p><p>The coins he gave me helped Ma, Ahina, and I through many days before they ran out.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>High Noon.</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>I didn’t think I would see the Prince again, and when I did, it was several years later.</p><p> </p><p>By the time Ma passed, Ahina and I were already old enough to find work. I went from place to place that needed an extra pair of hands, and Ahina found a pub to help serve drinks and food. We were able to keep the small shack Da left us, and although it was still a pretty hard life, we pulled through.</p><p>Around the time I was twelve, the palace opened an opportunity for young boys to train to become part of the army. We were promised compensation, food, and lodging at an army base, so naturally I took the chance to sign up. If I could earn enough in my first few months, I can move Ahina to a safer place and provide for her so that she didn’t have to work to eat.</p><p>As it turned out, training kept me away from home longer than expected. Combat was hard work, and if not for the frequent roughhousing with other village urchins, the exhaustion would have killed me in the first week alone. But I built myself up, thinking always of Ahina and the provision I will be able to bring home if I held on.</p><p>A month into training, we were allowed to visit home with our first pay. I bought a good meal for Ahina and the old lady who I’d asked to watch over her before returning, and it was a merry dinner.</p><p>“You were gone longer than I thought,” Ahina had said, lips curled into a pout.</p><p>“And apparently, it will be longer. This will stretch into a whole year, I bet. Some of the best trainees will be chosen to work at becoming royal guards once everything is over, but that would mean living in the palace. I don’t know if I’m up for that.”</p><p>“If that’s the case, you should do it. Once we move from here, I give you full permission to leave me by myself. Provided you still visit when you could.”</p><p>I raised a brow at my sister. “Since when was I your property that you could tell me what to do?”</p><p>She grinned as she elbowed my side. “Since I was born, stupid.”</p><p>           </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Training only got harder as the months flew by. Combat was one thing, and actual education was another. I didn’t know how to read or write until those particular lessons started, and I was easily one of the smallest and youngest boys in training.</p><p>But I worked hard on both combat and reading, and I genuinely enjoyed learning my letters. Before long, all the marks I saw around the training camp and even on the posters in the village made sense.</p><p>I started sending letters to Ahina alongside the money when I learned to write more than just a few words. Halfway through the year, I managed to find her a humble shack in a safer spot in town, and she was able to quit her job at the pub and instead focus on growing a little vegetable garden. With her in a safer place, I had more peace of mind to focus on my training.</p><p>When the army training year ended, I was chosen as one the top performers and was invited to train as the royal guard. A new training regimen then began, and this one took place inside the palace itself. We learned of the ins and outs of the palace, the laws, the maps, and of course, the royals. Once or twice the King himself came to watch us at our drills.</p><p>It was one afternoon during a drill exercise that the Crown Prince came to oversee the proceedings, and I met the boy from the market for a second time.</p><p> </p><p>It took me a while to recognize him as he was standing in the glare of the sun from where I was. Only when he started walking and I finally saw his face that I lost all doubt.</p><p>He looked taller, slimmer—time was kind on him. His skin was fair was ever, but he looked neither frail nor weak anymore. I also noticed, despite myself, that he had also developed a rather charming smile, one obviously used to get what he wanted, when he wanted it.</p><p>The years have changed him, for sure. But that light brown hair and those gold-flecked eyes were the same from eight years ago.</p><p>I didn’t think he would remember me at all, but as he was walking along the perimeter, he gave a cry and began running toward me, waving wildly.</p><p>I tried my best to stay focused on my task as he did his rounds, but failed miserably when he grabbed me by my forearms and pulled me to face him. Upon closer look, I realized that he <em>had</em> grown taller than me, even by just a little, and felt a stab of annoyance.</p><p>
  <em>Wasn’t this the boy who cried like a baby and had blood and snot running out of his nose?</em>
</p><p>“It was you, wasn’t it? The boy from the market?” His voice was deeper too, but still as chipper as I remembered.</p><p>An attendant ran up behind the prince, face red and alarmed. “Your highness, please! Decorum!”</p><p>I cleared my throat, trying to stabilize my footing. “That I was, your highness. If you would be so kind…”</p><p>He seemed to remember himself and let me go at once. “How is your sister? She’s getting along well, I hope?”</p><p><em>How kind of him to remember her as well. </em>“She is, your highness. I’ve yet to thank you for helping us get by that day, and many days hence. I am in your debt.”</p><p>The attendant behind him glared pointedly at me, then rushed to the prince’s side with a sickly, sweet grin. “Your highness, I must insist that we get back in the shade. Your lord father plans to meet with you in a while.”</p><p>The Crown Prince sighed, but he kept his eyes on me. “Alright, fine. One last thing,” he said. “What’s your name?”</p><p>I blinked. “Iwaizumi, if it please your highness. Iwaizumi Hajime.”</p><p>“Iwaizumi… Nice to see you again, then! I’ll come visit again soon!”</p><p>And then, quick as a summer breeze and just as cool, he was off, leaving me to deal with the aftermath of curious looks and whispers from the other trainees.</p><p> </p><p>Two other boys I’ve come to befriend dared to ask what everyone was probably wondering about as we sat together for lunch a little later. The pink-haired man spoke of it first: Hanamaki Takahiro.</p><p>“You knew Prince Tooru, huh?”</p><p>I shrugged. “Not really, we just happened to bump into each other a few years back. I was seven, I think.”</p><p>The dark-haired man to my other side, Matsukawa Issei, rounded his normally sleepy eyes. “Where? How?”</p><p>“In the village market. Although he <em>did</em> say he wasn’t supposed to be out. Got me a good punch to the jaw then too,” I added, chuckling at the memory.</p><p>“And you didn’t know then?”</p><p>“He never told me who he was, I just sort of figured it out when he was fetched by the royal guard.” I paused. “Will we wear something like that after all this is over, you think? All heavy robes and the like.”</p><p>Hanamaki shrugged. “I suppose, though the fashion seems to have changed. After all, there’s only one path to be taken for people like us.”</p><p>“And where do you want to be stationed, Hanamaki?” Matsukawa wanted to know.</p><p>“Wherever the master is kind,” said Hanamaki solemnly, to which we both burst out laughing. “What about you, Iwaizumi?”</p><p>Already my mind was flying to a certain brown-haired royal with a playful smile. It would be a wonder to be placed anywhere close to a royal at my age and low status in the first place, but I did owe the prince a debt. <em>If fate should allow</em>, and this I kept to myself, <em>I’d like to serve by his side.</em></p><p>But I said nothing and shrugged the question off. It’s not like I had any say in the matter.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>As if the heavens heard my unsaid wish, the training regimen ended a couple years later and I was handpicked to become part of the Crown Prince’s personal guard, and the youngest one at that. I remember the number of looks I got when the announcement was made.</p><p>Small wonder as to who made such rare thing happen.</p><p>Prince Tooru unwittingly became my friend; or rather, he made me his friend. After all, I was the only guard remotely close to his age. In my first few years of serving him, I often got in trouble for not being able to protect him well. It wasn't that he got hurt under my watch, but it was also a lot easier for him to slip away from his lessons or appointments on my shifts.</p><p>I wasn’t exactly compelling enough to keep him still, I knew, so I did the next best thing: I let myself be hauled along his escapades. One could imagine that that didn’t sit well with my superiors at all, but somehow, I never got kicked out.</p><p>Again, I knew just who to thank for that.</p><p>I trained hard to make up for it. It didn’t look like Prince Tooru would tire of hauling me with him to whatever scheme he had, so I might as well prove that I am capable of protecting him by myself.</p><p>It took a while, but soon the whole palace has acknowledged me as the Prince’s knight. I became his shadow, his sword, his confidant. His friend. And frankly, after some time had passed, I came to realize that there was no other place in the palace I’d rather be.</p><p> </p><p>I often wrote to Ahina about the prince and my other responsibilities, as I could no longer leave the palace as often as I wanted. She wrote back saying how happy she was that I was settling in just fine and that she was also getting along quite well. Her garden was thriving.</p><p>And so, I found myself with a friend apart from my sister—my first real friend: one who willingly shared his life with me, and one with whom I also eventually began to share my life, and my thoughts. We grew thick as thieves as our childhood years waned, and I never once considered how things would start to change once again.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Dusk.</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Six years later, Tooru and I came of age. And a few months after, in the same year, he was finally eligible enough to be married.</p><p> </p><p>On the eve of the Crown Prince’s betrothal ball, he was nowhere to be found.</p><p>In the midst of the scurrying maids and attendants preparing for the ball, the guests slowly trickling into the palace, and the chaos of guards fortifying the grounds, I ran like a madman trying to locate the hardheaded prince. If word that I lost him reached my superior, it’s off with my head before sunrise.</p><p>“Goddammit, why does he constantly have to make my life harder?”</p><p>He wasn’t in his room, nor the library, nor the kitchens. Half an hour of rounds told me that he wasn’t even within the palace grounds. I steadied myself with a breath, stopping to think for a moment. The places the Crown Prince goes to whenever he didn’t want to be found…</p><p>I paused, then chuckled to myself. <em>Hajime, you idiot.</em></p><p>I straightened myself and made my way out of the palace grounds, heading west. A forest grew right outside the palace walls, and deep in it was spring that ran all the way out to sea. The last rays of the dying sun cast a reddish glow in the clearing, but I found the path alright as I followed the sound of water rushing through rocks.</p><p>Sure enough, there he was: seated at the bank, bare feet dangling in the water, and humming a merry tune.</p><p>I cleared my throat. “I knew you’d be here.”</p><p>He turned to face me, then had the gall to grin. “No, you didn’t. You look like you’ve been running around trying to find me. Your face is all red.”</p><p>I felt a vein pop in my temple. “None of that. I just panicked for a second and blanked out. Come on then, I need to escort you back.”</p><p>He sighed, long and deep. “I was hoping it would take you the entire night. It’s not like I’m hopping to attend that ball.”</p><p>“It’s a ball in <em>your</em> honor. You of all people can’t miss it.”</p><p>I eased myself beside him, and the years between us fell away until I saw my childhood friend. Status and ranking were nothing when it was just the two of us, and I forget so often how comfortable I can get when I’m with him. Or of how, even after nearly a decade of knowing each other, the way he treated me never changed.</p><p>Well, not yet, anyway. But tonight was the night of change for a lot of people.</p><p>“You’re afraid, aren’t you?”</p><p>He flinched, then gave me an accusatory look. “W-who said I was?”</p><p>“You did, just now.”</p><p>He clicked his tongue. “Damn you, Hajime. You don’t have to come out here and say it aloud.”</p><p>“What are you even afraid of? It’s just—”</p><p>“A betrothal ball where I have to pick and choose the person with whom I have to spend my entire life, who also has to have the approval of both my family and the kingdom? Yes sire, exactly that.”</p><p>I shrugged. “I’d wager every single one of those ladies have already been filtered out by your father, so I wager you’re afraid of the commitment part of it. You coward.”</p><p>He huffed, turning his nose to the air in a childish pout. “Well, I’m <em>sorry</em> I’m not like you. You might not think twice about dying for the good of humanity or some other thing, but some of us in this world are normal human beings with fears.”</p><p>
  <em>I do have my own fears, though.</em>
</p><p>This time, I turned to him. He refused to look at me; his face was tinged with pink, or maybe it was the sunset playing with the colors on his skin. He kept his eyes on the rushing water, hands curled into fists at his side. I glared at him, confused at his actions.</p><p>“What on earth is wrong with you? It’s not like you already have someone in mind—”</p><p>That made me pause. It <em>could</em> be entirely possible, given that he was the most eligible bachelor in the kingdom, and he was not short on admirers. It could have happened on one of those days, when he was out and about in the village. How she could have escaped my notice was beyond me in the moment.</p><p>“She’s a commoner, isn’t she?”</p><p>He frowned. “Who are you talking about?”</p><p>“Your lover? Isn’t that why you don’t want to push through with the betrothal, because you already have one?”</p><p>“I don’t have one!”</p><p>I felt my blood boil. <em>Then he really is just afraid of commitment. This coward.  </em>“Then snap out of it!”</p><p>I grabbed the Crown Prince firmly by his collar and gave him a solid shake. He may be the prince, but right now, he is my friend who needed a quick nudge in the arse to get back to reality. I didn’t realize why I was so riled up until later, but it made my skin crawl to see him fold in on himself. It was like he was falling into an abyss and I needed to pull him out.</p><p>“Hajime, what—”</p><p>“You’re the Crown Prince, Tooru! This is your life, your responsibility. We’re not children anymore and you have to grow up and lead the kingdom someday. If this is how my future king is going be, I’d sooner walk right off a cliff than serve you!”</p><p>In a flash Tooru reached his hands up, clasped my wrists tightly. Almost desperately. “No. Don’t leave. Please.”</p><p>The wind blew harsh through the clearing as we fell in silence. I froze where I was, kneeling on the ground with my hand on the prince’s collar. My heart thudded painfully against my chest. He was looking at me now, wide eyes pleading, fingers cold and clammy against my skin. I remembered the eyes of the little boy in the market: wide and fearful.</p><p>“What?” I sounded breathless.</p><p>“Don’t leave,” he said quietly, and his eyes shook even as they stared into mine. It must have taken quite the effort to hold that gaze. “I will go to the ball. I will marry whoever. Just please don’t leave.”</p><p>“I’m… what?” For all the words in all the languages I've learned, only he can render me speechless.</p><p>Finally, Tooru lowered his head. He kept his grip on my wrists, growing tighter the softer his words became. “I can’t do this without you, damn it. I can’t do anything without you and you know it.”</p><p>There was a pang in my chest as my treacherous heart soared at his declaration. Before I could begin to feel happy about it, I stuffed the feeling back in. I’m in no place to act on it, and it would do him no good to affirm it.</p><p>“That’s not a good thing, damn you.” I managed to keep my voice clear. “Do you want me to drop you off in the middle of the ocean just so you could learn how to swim?”</p><p>He paused for a long while. His grip slackened; his arms fell at his sides. There it is again: the feeling of him folding in on himself, insecurity overwhelming him. Shadows crowded over his shoulders like a heavy cloak.</p><p>Maybe I had something to do with that inferiority he feels. I’ve been behind him, beside him, for more than half our lives. I was the one who saw him grow up. Maybe that’s why he seemed so helpless—I let him depend on me for too long.</p><p>And why? Because I liked it. Damn it to all hells, I relished in being needed by him, even if that wasn’t the only reason I stuck around. I found my purpose supporting him, pushing him from behind. I’ve had a hand on his back for so long that we both knew the moment I let go, he’ll come hurtling down.</p><p>That’s not good at all.</p><p>“Tooru—”</p><p>“Do I suffocate you?”</p><p>I froze. “What?”</p><p>His panic rose with every word. “Do I suffocate you? Do I hold you down? Have you missed out on your life because I kept you beside me all this time? Is that why you want to leave?”</p><p>
  <em>Gods.</em>
</p><p>“No. For heavens’ sake, no, why would you think that? Do you think I stayed beside you because you forced me to? I’m not that much of a pushover.”</p><p>He looked up at me, and a feeling so immense squeezed my heart. Hope mingled with fear in his big brown eyes. The sun had almost fully set and the clearing had gone quite dark, but still his eyes shone. If only we could just stay here, in this darkness, for the rest of our lives. Together. I would have wanted nothing more, right then.</p><p>But we couldn’t, and someone had to bring us out.</p><p>“I’m your friend, Tooru. I stayed with you because I want to. I want to see you become the greatest of kings, and I will do whatever it takes to get you there. Because I want to.”</p><p>
  <em>Because I love you.</em>
</p><p>At that moment, I knew it to be true, but I had to swallow the feelings down. They raked painfully down my throat and left my tongue dry. Not seeing him clearly, not seeing how his face would change if I ever said those words aloud, gave me a sliver of courage to push through.</p><p>But I can’t. I know I can’t. This is the closest I could ever be, the closest I will and should allow myself to be. Besides, I’ve always been just that to him: his friend. He’d take an arrow for me even as I’d take one for him, sure, because I am his friend.</p><p>Tooru is the Crown Prince, and by kingdom law he will be betrothed to a lady of high standing and good character. He will produce a child of his own blood to succeed him when he takes the throne. That is how it is.</p><p>I steeled myself. I cannot be unsteady now. Maybe later, maybe when he has gotten some of his own strength back, when I can be by myself, I can let go. But not right now. He needs me, my strength and stability, in this moment.</p><p>I sank down on the ground in front of Tooru as I let out a breath. His face was barely a set of dancing shadows as the sun continued to set beyond the woods, but I could trace it with all its curves and planes from mere memory.</p><p>“What made you think I wanted to leave?” <em>Was it something I said, or did?</em></p><p>I sensed him fidgeting with his fingers. “Well, I’m going to married before long. I’m going to have to share my bedchamber with my bride. You can’t stay there anymore. And I guess I just sort of spiraled from there… If you could be removed from my room, you could be reassigned elsewhere. You won’t be my man anymore.”</p><p>
  <em>His man. But not the way I wish I could be.</em>
</p><p>“I will always be your man.” <em>Why did it hurt to say it?</em> “I’ve seen too much of your embarrassing moments to be safely let out into the world. I’m basically palace liability.”</p><p>That elicited a chuckle from him, finally. The shadows that crowded around his shoulders slowly dispersed as he straightened up.</p><p>“You’re right. I have to keep you near me if I want to keep my reputation.”</p><p>“Whatever happens, I will always be close by. It’s going to take a hell lot more than this to get rid of me, is that what you wanted to hear?”</p><p>He beamed; despite the darkness, I could hear his smile, feel the warmth of it from where I sat. “Yes. Thank you, Hajime. You really are the best.”</p><p>My gut twisted, so before I could do or say something I would regret, I got to my feet.</p><p>“Come on now, let’s head back. You’re late enough as it is, and we don’t want Hanamaki or Matsukawa leading an entire raiding party looking for you.”</p><p>Tooru shuffled onto his feet, and I shifted back to my knight role. The way he changed as we neared the torch lights was always a sight to behold. His status and legacy were evident in the tilt of his head, the square of his shoulders, the beat of his gait—his demeanor has never been in question anyway. He was a prince the moment he was born.</p><p>At that moment, we ceased to be Hajime and Tooru—the people who walked out of the clearing and back into the palace were Crown Prince Oikawa Tooru, and his trusted knight, Iwaizumi Hajime.</p><p>       </p><p>The lilting music and delectable smell of food pulled us in, and almost immediately a flurry of maids and attendants came and pulled Tooru away to prepare him for the party. I nodded to reassure him, but when he was gone from sight, I let my knees go weak as I crouched on the ground.</p><p>“You did the right thing.”</p><p>Hanamaki, now knight of the queen, appeared beside me. I really didn’t need his quips right now.</p><p>"How do you even know—”</p><p>“Your face says it all, my friend.”</p><p>“No, you’re probably just a nosy bastard,” I retorted as I got back up. “Does the queen know you stalk her son and his knight instead of guarding her bedchambers?”</p><p>“The queen’s business is none of yours.” He paused, considering. “As your business is probably not mine.”</p><p>“Damn right you are.”</p><p>“But because I’m your friend, it kind of is.” This time, he looked at me, and I almost swore at the pity and concern on his face, even if he meant well. I didn’t need his coddling right now. “Will you be alright?”</p><p>I let out a steady breath as I turned away and faced the palace. “I always have been, and I always will.”</p><p>For love of the kingdom, for hope in his future filled with happiness and prosperity, one lowly knight can bear these feelings alone and take them to his grave.</p><p> </p><p>Because I love him, because I want to protect him and all of his, not an ounce of selfishness must be found in me. I will be happy for him, I will lay my life for him, I will see to his future.</p><p>I will spend the rest of my life loving him in the safest, quietest way I know how.</p><p> </p><p>***</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This takes place a few years after Iwaizumi Hajime swore his life to Oikawa Tooru, in the privacy of his heart.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>Midnight.</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>I saw the newborn Crown Prince before the King did.</p><p>It should have been funny; his Lord Father was pacing to and fro outside the Queen’s chambers when I arrived, and when he saw me, he thrust me right into the room to see if the child was alive. The boy - round, red, and robust - was definitely alive, if his piercing cries were any indication.</p><p>“General.”</p><p>I made my way to the bed, where the Queen sat upright, the howling child in her arms. The wet nurse gave way to me, and I beheld the second Crown Prince in my lifetime for the first time.</p><p>He had a thick mop of auburn hair and skin as fair as cow’s milk. His cheeks were ruddy with crying, and his tiny hands were curled into fists. When I bowed to the Queen, his cries stopped abruptly and he stared at me with wide, brown eyes.</p><p><em>His</em> eyes. His face. His hair. Even his voice.</p><p>“Congratulations, Your Grace,” I managed to say, and I couldn’t help but smile as the boy reached for me. I let him wrap his hands around my finger. “He’s a handsome one. And strong as well.”</p><p>“The gods have blessed us,” replied the Queen, her gaze and smile fond. “But where is the King?”</p><p>I resisted a chuckle. “Right outside. Shall I go and fetch him?”</p><p>“He has to see his son.”</p><p> </p><p>I found Tooru crouched on the ground beside the doors when I stepped out. When he heard the creak, he sprang up and shook me by the shoulders.</p><p>“Is he well?”</p><p>“Did you not hear the cries? He has your iron lungs, Your Grace.”</p><p>“Is he…” Tooru gestured wildly to the air, and I could only imagine what preposterous things he wanted to say.</p><p>“He is complete and sound, Tooru,” I said softly before he could come up with the words. </p><p>
  <em>And he’s beautiful. A spitting image of his father.</em>
</p><p>Tooru managed a shaky sigh. I looked around quickly to check if we were alone, then thumped him in the back.</p><p>“Go and see your son.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I order you to stay, General.”</p><p>Tooru sat on the throne, his person raised up on the dais. I had to tilt my head up to look at him. It was sobering, considering how my place had always been at his right hand. Even his Queen had to stay on his left. She was nowhere near us now; it was in the dead of night, the palace was asleep. His lady wife and lord son were both at rest in their chambers.</p><p>There was no one in the court but us.</p><p>I wasn’t used to standing before him. I’d long gotten used to seeing the same things he saw, from his perspective. Looking at him now, it felt as if we were fighting a battle from two different sides. With regards to the matter at hand, we might as well are.</p><p>I clenched my hands into fists behind me. “I will not sit back while my men march out to war.”</p><p>“I will ride with you.”</p><p>I avoided his eyes. I feared what I might see there; feared how they might shake my resolve. There has to be no hesitation, not with something so important.</p><p>“No. Will all due respect, Your Grace, your Queen and son need <em>you</em> alive and safe. The walls still stand, and you have strong, loyal men here.”</p><p>“My Queen needs you here. My <em>son</em> needs you here.”</p><p>
  <em>And you? Do you need me here?</em>
</p><p>I found myself pursing my lips at the selfish thought. “My duty is to my Kingdom, and the men I command.” </p><p>
  <em>And you, always you. I can’t serve you from here, not now.</em>
</p><p>I couldn’t stay any longer. Our enemies approach by the minute, and the River must be defended or the Kingdom falls. And I had sworn.</p><p>“Hajime - ”</p><p>“If there is nothing else, Your Grace, I will take my leave.”</p><p>He didn’t call me back, and just as well. If he had told me to come back, to promise my return, I wasn’t sure if I’d have been able to keep it.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>I held my men back.</p><p>As long as the sun is toward the east, the enemy is at an advantage. Already they grew bold as their archers loosed volleys across the river, falling just short of the wall of shields. Some of their men were already thigh-deep in the water.</p><p>I cursed the low tide. They were smart to attack when our most natural defense is low.</p><p>“Stand back! Hold your fire.”</p><p>Only a few minutes left. Soon, the sun would retreat behind us, and we could attack. But not yet. Not yet.</p><p>I felt a lad beside me shake. I grasped his drawn hand to still his arm.</p><p>“Whoever loses an arrow will cross the river to retrieve it. Is that clear?”</p><p>“Yes, sir!”</p><p>
  <em>Just a bit more.</em>
</p><p>The enemy soldiers were halfway across the river already. They were hurrying. They know the sun is about to fight against them. Despite myself, I grinned.</p><p>
  <em>So be it.</em>
</p><p>“Take your aim!”</p><p>String were pulled taut, and fists tightened around their grips. The tension rolled out in waves, so strong that the front runners of the enemy army shuddered and hesitated.</p><p>
  <em>Perfect.</em>
</p><p>“Fire!”<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It was a blur after that. The sun set behind us, the moon rose, the world turned. Still the battle raged.</p><p>Our archers shot down every single soldier in the water, and the Great River ran red. After the first volley, I led my riders into a charge with a thunderous roar, followed just behind with the foot soldiers.</p><p>I hacked and slashed men in helms and armor I didn’t recognize. One of them smartly slashed my horse’s legs from under it, and for a moment I was tossed into a throng of metal and leather and blood. It seemed a strange memory, but it was not unlike the throng of people I’d pulled the erstwhile Crown Prince through, back when we were children.</p><p>But I managed to get up unscathed, and I could hardly remember my fights. Blood ran in rivulets under my armor, and at one point I’d lost my helm. I couldn’t feel the cuts and bruises, and the sight of enemy blood made me hungry.</p><p>The fight was over before I realized it, and around me were bodies - some I knew, but more were men from across the River. I took quick stock about me, and saw the enemies banners retreating.</p><p>We’d won.</p><p>I sighted Hanamaki across the field, holding aloft a torchlight. I waved and called out to him. He turned, lips curled in a triumphant smile. And, almost too quickly for me to register, fear descended on his features.</p><p>“Hanam - ”</p><p>“Behind you!”</p><p>I felt the slide of the blade embed itself in the chink of my armor, right under my arms. It was cold, cold.</p><p>Blood bubbled up my throat as I pitched forward. Every inhale choked me with my own blood. I barely registered Hanamaki charging toward me, I never even got to see the face of my attacker before my friend walloped off his head.</p><p>I was just falling, falling. Everything felt so damn <em>heavy</em>.</p><p>“Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi!”</p><p>Hanamaki was cradling my head. I was grateful. His arms were warm, compared to the rough ground beneath my back. It’s so cold.</p><p>“Get <em>up</em> you moron! The King is still waiting for you.”</p><p>Hanamaki tugged harder, but my body felt too heavy. I couldn’t move it. <em>Let me sleep. </em>I let my head fall back and saw the scattering of stars in the pre-dawn sky. I didn’t realize how long we’ve been fighting. </p><p>They’re breath-taking, the stars. If I could lift my arm, I would have tried to reach for one.</p><p>
  <em>Would Tooru like a star? But then, stars already live in his eyes.</em>
</p><p>“Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi! Oi! Get back to your senses. We have to get home.”</p><p>
  <em>Ah, that’s right. We’d won. The enemies are retreating. I have to make it home.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But I’m tired. So, so tired.</em>
</p><p>“Hanamaki.”</p><p>“If you’re going to tell me to deliver a message for you, you better fucking stuff it. I’m not your errand boy.”</p><p>“Hanamaki.”</p><p>“Tell him yourself, goddammit!”</p><p>He was crying. I blinked, slowly, because everything felt like we were moving through a pregnant raincloud. Hanamaki never cried.</p><p>“Matsukawa is coming. We’ll bring you home. Hold <em>on</em>, for fuck’s sake.”</p><p>“Hanamaki.” The words were heavy, so damn heavy. “T-take… care… of Ahina…”</p><p>“<em>You</em> do it you useless asshole! She’s <em>your</em> sister.”</p><p>But I could see beyond his words. Hanamaki is a faithful sort. He’s rough in tongue and manner, but he is true as steel to the core. I managed a smile. Ahina will be alright.</p><p>
  <em>Tooru will be alright.</em>
</p><p>“Hanamaki.”</p><p>“What? If this is another request, I swear -”</p><p>“I’m tired.”</p><p>I didn’t get to hear what he said. There’s just this ringing in my ears and a darkness dancing at the edge of my vision. My body felt heavy, but my soul, for the first time, felt free and light. I looked beyond my friend’s face, up toward the heavens. The stars blinked, shined.</p><p>What a beautiful, endless place that is. I wondered, could there have been such a time, maybe in another world, where things could have ended differently? </p><p>But no. This is the story I chose. This is one I wanted for myself. For what I was dealt, I could honestly say that I am happy. I’ve always been happy.</p><p>And if there was anything I want Tooru to know, although I’m not sure that he ever will find out now, it’s that he will be strong. He has grown strong, and it’s no longer because of me.</p><p>I have not broken my promise yet.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <strong>The darkest hour.</strong> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>Hanamaki Takahiro, former knight of the late Queen Mother and now Commander under General Iwaizumi, led the army back to the palace before the sun could shine on the battlefield.</p><p>He instructed the remaining men to gather their dead and request use of carts from the closest houses they could bother for help. They will be prepared well, and a funeral pyre will burn long and bright for them.</p><p>Hanamaki carried the General back home on his own horse.</p><p>The palace healers and priests were called into the General’s chambers to prepare him for his last audience with the King. Iwaizumi Ahina was granted permission to see her brother off. Years later, she would be seen living and serving in the palace as the Queen’s handmaid, as per Hanamaki’s request.</p><p>Hanamaki Takahiro and Matsukawa Issei, the General’s direct inferiors, opened the doors to his chambers when the King finally came to see him. They respectfully stepped outside, allowing the General privacy to bid farewell to his liege lord.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Many years later, when tales of the battle at the Great River are sung in festivals and the kings and heroes of the bygone era have long become characters in bardic songs, the children in the streets would be heard singing songs of a Wolf who once loved the Moon. </p><p>They would sing of how, despite leading a pack by daylight, the Wolf is a creature of the night who constantly walked under the light of the Moon. Whether the Moon was a silver bow or as round as goat cheese, the Wolf would sing ardently of the same ivory light that guides him home. Because for the Wolf, no matter how dim or bright, the light of the Moon <em>is</em> home.</p><p>Until one day, the Wolf’s song stopped.</p><p>That night, instead of a single howl, the pack raised their voices even as the metallic scent of blood rose to the heavens. The clouds grew heavy with rain as the world held its breath. </p><p>That night, and many nights hence, the Moon was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the sky wept long and hard, until the brooks and the rivers ran silver. When the clouds parted and the rains finally ceased, the Moon came out, full and strong.</p><p>And, the songs say, that if you looked close enough on such nights, a single star - the brightest of them all - would shine just shy of the dark side of the moon.</p><p> </p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Do you ever think about how, when it comes to these kinds of AUs, Oikawa is always the prince while the other three are some sort of knights? It just feels right somehow. That was the headcanon that inspired this whole fic, and let me tell you: this underwent major revisions before I figured out how it was going to go. (I even had a Wakatoshi cameo once but decided against it.)</p><p>I hope you liked my child! Drop a comment and tell me what you think, or maybe leave I kudos! Love lots, and as always, keep it chill. ^^</p></blockquote></div></div>
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